Friday, 13 August 2010

World Vision. Video. Introspection. Ego.

It's nights like this that make me wish I could be like Hayley and pass on the blogging responsibility to my über-cool boyfriend. Unfortunately (and for a number of very good reasons) that's just not going to happen. The blogging responsibility falls squarely on me.

I don't particularly want to give you the usual, "Went to work, got mistreated by customers, hung out with friends, came home, sat on the computer" that I usually give. But there you go - that was my day today. Instead I'll respond to the comments on my last post, both of which were asking if the Internet will ever see Week in 60 as it's produced. The answer: yes, of course.

Now, whether that's as part of another video on my main channel or as a parallel series to the Poultry Press - I'm yet to decide. I do refer to the church by name (12:two) so that would appear a smidge awkward on YouTube where my subscribers are used to being called Chickens. Then again, I'm really pleased with this first video - I think it's a lot more professional than what I normally make and I'd like that as part of my online portfolio. What to do what to do? Should I specially introduce each Week in 60 video for YouTube? Should I just post them without explanation? Want to help me? Great! Go on, Internet, tell me what to do with my life.

In other stuff, I watched this frezned video tonight, in which I learned he's going to Africa to do video work for World Vision. I'm so excited for him and for the idea (which I have a feeling originally came from Shawn - Uncultured). If this sort of thing takes off it bodes really well for me, because this is the sort of thing I tried to do on my own this year in Peru (failed, alas!) and want to do with the rest of my life.

So. There's that. I guess it's one big Wait And See on that front, but I'm glad at least one charity seems to be getting on side with social media and the empowerment it brings. World Vision Australia CEO Tim Costello is actually coming to speak at my church later on this year. I hope to ask him how the experiment went and maybe, if they wouldn't mind, adding another willing volunteer/potential employee to their roster. Hahaha! PRETENTIOUS ROHAN IS PRETENTIOUS.

But not really but really.

That reminds me of something Ralph told me today when I saw him briefly. I jokingly said my videos were the best in the world (or something) and he laughed saying "I never hear you talk yourself up." I guess that's sort of true, which is why I can't suggest that I'd be a good fit for World Vision without calling myself pretentious. Truthfully I think I'm sort of terrified by my own ego, by how large and self-consumed it is. I worry that other people can see it and judge me. I worry that in conversation I start too many sentences with "I" or "My." I worry that in worrying about myself I'm only making it worse.

Cue the requisite disclaimer that this is not a plea for attention; this is only what I happen to be thinking/feeling tonight, etc. Still, I feel like it's not all my imagination - that, in a very real way, I really do think about myself much more than I should. I'm not concerned with whether or not I worry about myself more or less than how other people worry; I'm only concerned with whether or not I worry more than is right. It would be nice to be able to confidently say that I'd be good at something without feeling like I'm inflating myself to bursting point.

And so I immerse myself again in the teachings of some of my favourite tutors: Shane Claiborne, John Green, Derek Webb, Daniel Klopp - and foremost: Jesus Christ. Each one living a life and articulating a message of concern for others and a denial of self.

Well. I wasn't expecting my blog to go there tonight, but go there it has. That's probably enough typing for now. Plus, it seems a bit weird even for me to, in one paragraph, exalt John Green as one of my favourite other-centered people, then declare my intention to dress up as him for an upcoming fancy-dress party. That's what I intended to do with this blog entry at the start.

So with that tantalising tidbit I'll leave you with today's song, What Matters More by the aforementioned Derek Webb - what's probably his most controversial song. Um, if you want to know more, I thought this video was interesting.

'Til tomorrow.


  1. I am always impressed with your ability to discuss openly things that I would probably never talk about, let alone blog about for numerous people I didn't know to read. And as much as I wish I could say "Oh, Rohan, you're not too self-involved at all!", I can't, because a) I don't know you and b) Even if I did know you, I can never imagine you complexly enough to know that.

    If you post your Week in 60 videos on your main channel, you should at least introduce the first one otherwise everyone who doesn't read your blog will be quite confused and an introduction to the others wouldn't be a horrible idea either, but it wouldn't be strictly necessary. If you put them on your second channel, you could probably get away with explaining what was going on in the description. Or you could make a channel for your church, if they make a lot of videos. My old church did that and it seemed to work out pretty well for them.

  2. All your worries are worrisome. I don't think you need to be so worried. Worried is a weird word. Worried worried worried. It's one of those words that if you say too many times begins to have lost all meaning. I digress...

    You certainly don't *seem* self involved. I don't really know you well enough to make the judgement, but it's certainly not something I have thought of you at all!

    Modesty is a weird issue. Like, even though I'm doing a music degree majoring in singing, I always feel the need to say I really can't sing very well if people ask me "are you any good?". Where in actual fact I think I'm okay. I wouldn't be doing a degree in it if I didn't think so.

    As for you videos I think if it's something you're very proud of it should definitely go on your main channel. An intro would be excellent at the very beginning of it and you could do some sort of cut down intro at the start of every one. I don't think you need to though. The other option may be to put a link to the first video in the description of the other videos.

    I guess just see how people react in the comments :)