Wednesday, 10 February 2010

Early Valentine's Day Musings

They say the best way to learn how to write is to write every day. I'm going to try my best and get some discipline back in my life. I've never been great at personal discipline, but I guess the road to getting there means I have to start somewhere. And so, I will try and blog every day. Don't expect overly coherent things each time though.

I guess what I'm thinking of just now is Valentine's Day, although it's some way off just now. I've never been one to get crazily upset whenever V-Day rolls around, despite being single for every single one. Instead I'm just sort of stoically indifferent; I feel it's a holiday that simply doesn't apply to me. I guess I'm here blogging about it now though, so it's got to be having some sort of subliminal effect, right?

Someone on Formspring today told me that going on blind dates was helpful because "you'll be able to relax more on future 'real' dates". Hayley recently blogged that she felt the same way about her past relationships. I guess I'm going to go into my future relationships blind. So, WARNING: will be a crappy boyfriend. I'm a little afraid of that now, to be honest, but I know that anyone not patient enough to put up with my crap for a little while and set me right isn't going to be right for the long run anyway. File under: Helpful But Not Necessary.

It's a little bit weird because a lot of my friends are beginning to get married and/or have kids. Sometimes I feel left behind, but then I remember I'm only 21. I guess it's a little bit sad that I can't share the day with someone, but I'm sure that day will come eventually. I actually, genuinely, enjoy being single; I guess right now any girlfriend would have to be as mobile as I am right now for me to even consider it. I don't know. It would be nice to have someone to travel with I suppose, but it seems unlikely. Perhaps I'll be single forever. Would that be so bad? Maybe not, but thinking that way feels like giving in, so I won't do it.

Anyway, I'm pretty much done with this topic. I don't even know why I brought it up. It'll just fuel the speculation-fire about my (non-existent!) love-life that continues to burn on Formspring. Was that a run-on sentence? Is it disgustingly meta that I ask myself grammar-related questions in my own blog posts? Is  it disgustingly meta that I ask myself questions about being meta in my own blog posts?



  1. aww, I love valentines day! Although I'm in the same boat as you because I've been single every valentine's day. However, it's the day of love AND friendship! So I always do something to let my friends know how much I appreciate them :)

    And the day after is the best, all the heart-shaped candy/chocolate goes on sale!

  2. Your Formsrping followers do seem to be mighty curious about your love life! I love that it would be extremely rude to walk up to someone that you've seen around but never talked to and ask them about their love life, but on the interwebs it's totally normal. Oh, to be anonymous...

  3. Oh man, I totally know what you mean... I'm 21 also, and have never been in a relationship on Valentine's day. (I've only ever had one boyfriend, when I was 16, but that only lasted 2 and a half weeks!)

    Although I'm very glad in many ways that I've been waiting for the right time/person, on the other hand I am very scared that I will get into a relationship finally and then be completely rubbish at it!

    It is very odd for me too that all my friends seem to be getting engaged, married, and having babies. Sometimes it's hard, as you said, not to feel left-behind... I have to keep reminding myself that I still have tonnes of time and that I'm not an old spinster quite yet! Sometimes that's easier said than done though! :(

    My church hilariously but helpfully has planned the Sunday night service at church (on Valentine's day!) to be on the topic of 'Singleness'. I'm strangely looking forward to it. I think I need a bit of encouragement to keep living for God and making the most of my life while I'm single... There are indeed many advantages that I often forget/ignore.

    Ok, ramble over! This is practically a blog post in itself. What you wrote just really resounded with me so I thought I would share some of my thoughts. :)

  4. It's strange. I'm only 22 and my friends are constantly talking about marriage! Well, at least those female friends I have. Seriously, when did this happen? One of them actually got married this winter and she's younger than me.

    Anyway, it all doesn't matter. You're single and if that is what you want don't be ashamed to be so. Just because your friends are starting to couple up doesn't mean your adnormal or weird for not doing so. I didn't have a steady boyfriend until last year. And, yeah, this whole Valentines Day... I plan to spend it with all those I love and not just one person.

  5. I know exactly what you mean! I'm in a very similar position; 23 and never been in a real relationship. My friend suggested I try online dating the other day and my first thought was "I'm not qualified". It would be great to find someone but it's not exactly a priority given my impending travel plans. (Fairly) happily single for 2010 at least.