Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Screenplays (and the things they reveal)

Permit me a smidge of cryptic (or not-so-cryptic) blogging please?

Today, my filming day became my scripting day, and tomorrow my editing day will become my filming day. I shouldn't stress about this so much. I should just make a crapload of stuff and have fun. If it doesn't get used it doesn't get used and I can get on with my original plans. I have some pretty awesome plans, and if they go through they will make for some pretty epic blog posts, I can tell you now.

Also, last night I had a vivid dream we met IRL and you told me you didn't like me and we would never be together, but then we danced. What was up with that?

Thank you.

So. Screenplays. I finished that screenplay I was talking about previously. I really like the dialogue, but I'm unsatisfied with the ending. If you're a script-doctor I'd really like to hear from you. Of course I mean really like to hear from you in the way that implies as little academic misconduct as possible.

Writing screenplays is not what I usually do. I struggle with the three act structure (thus the lame ending). I script my YouTube videos but they are like informative soap operas. Everything kind of drags on in these story arcs that are pretty obviously made up on the fly. I'll talk about the news a little bit, and then one of my splinched personalities interrupts me and somebody gets angry. There's no three act structure there. The actual structure of a story is something I'm still getting to grips with.

A new experience with the screenplay was scripting dialogue between people of different gender. I thoroughly enjoyed that. When I script for my YouTube videos I can't get too sassy or people begin to talk, but with my screenplay I could make my female character be as smartass as I wanted; but alas, another problem I have is she became a typical Manic Pixie Dream Girl, and that's bad because it contravines my Number One Rule For Writing:


NEVER MAKE YOUR CHARACTERS PEOPLE YOU WOULD IDEALLY SLEEP WITH

The same goes for constructing alternative personalities online. When you see those 40 year old men masquerading as 16 year old platinum blondes on Second Life you think two things:
  1. You have no imagination when it comes to girls
  2. Stop being such a SLEEZE
So in light of this my Manic Pixie Dream Girl character in her current state just will not do. She needs to be more flawed and less like those girls in the so-called indie films that are all the rage these days. If for nothing else, this has to happen for my sake. I've got to learn on a deeper-than-academic level that those indie Manic Pixie girls do not exist. At least, they do not appear to exist.

Wait that's a lie. I met one once but she was older than me and also taken.

I need to learn that idealising the Zooey Deschanel Indie Princess stereotype is actually just as unimaginative as the aforementioned Second Life gentleman pretending to be jailbait. Curiously, none of the girls I have ever had a crush on looked anything remotely similar to Zooey Deschanel, but I'm talking about Zooey Deschanel as a composite set of abstract ideas sourced from the roles she typically plays.

Book Recommendation: The Artemis Fowl series by Eoin Colfer. I've read these from about the age 13 onwards and I will still buy them when a new one comes out. I'm just not done with the pre-pubescent (but now well-and-truly-pubescent) evil mastermind turned good. They are funny and have seriously engaging characters and Oceans 11-style plots, and when I am extravagantly rich and famous I want a Butler like Artemis has.

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