I feel like writing something personal and honest here, but I'm afraid it'll be misunderstood by 98% of all who read it.
Using percentages to talk about people is completely unsexy. Let me rephrase:
I feel like writing something personal and honest here, but I'm afraid it'll be misunderstood by pretty much everyone who reads it.
The truth is, I am fundamentally different from you. Either because I come from a different country, I follow a different religion, I'm of a different gender... whatever. I'm different to you and my values are not the same as yours.
If I was to say something shocking - SHOCKING! - like "I don't care whether I get this job in Sydney or not" it doesn't mean that I don't care. I say this to ensure such a thing won't be misconstrued as indifference by a potential employer reading this blog *waves at Andrew Denton*. That is not how I feel. I just want to make that clear from the start. Can you imagine the opportunity this job is? And that I made the short list? And that I might actually be employed by the ABC?
The thing is, though, it's true. Lately I've been reflecting on it, and I've found I'm really, really happy with the way things are right now. It's not even as though I've had a particularly easy couple of weeks. Mid-semester has been and gone and now I've just got one deadline after another flying at me. I haven't slept properly for the past eight or nine days because of assignments or early shifts at work.
That sounds, you know, terrible, but I'm content. I love my friends here. I love my job. I love making videos for my personal YouTube channel. I love my church. All these things would change if I were to get the job in Sydney. That's not to say that would be a bad thing, but if it didn't eventuate I'd be okay.
Like, I'm at a place right now where I will be uber-excited to be accepted or rejected for the position. They could call tomorrow (er... today), I could hear either outcome and legitimately jump up and down for joy. That probably sounds odd to you. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be strange.
So. This is far from a "I don't want the job." No. Nononononono! Nor is it an expression of contempt for the opportunity I've been given. I don't know how I can stress that enough. This blog has been sounding pretty anti-Sydney so far and that really isn't the intention. The idea of working in Sydney and working with the ABC is delicious. And hanging out with Nikki, Min and Queenie! And possibly Chris! And my friend Hendra! And being paid to make videos! Delicious! NOM NOM NOM.
This isn't even an indication that I'm setting myself up to fail - softening the blow. I honestly don't know what's going to happen. I'm just saying that the Gold Coast is equally delicious as Sydney.
I hope you understand. I'm really excited for the rest of the year, no matter what happens.