I like this time of the month. From the 7th onwards I have 1 gig of speeded-up internet to use. Once I use up that 1 gig I go back to regular, super-slow dial up speeds. This is what telecommunications companies in Australia call adequate service.
Usually I try and make that 1 gig stretch out for as long as possible. That way my parents don't think I'm a dirty parasite using up all their internet. Today though, I felt like watching an old Vlogbrothers video or two, and when I opened the page I was up to I saw this:
Yes. The legendary Helen Hunt video was up there at the top, and I was at the bottom. I decided must watch this page of videos to see what all the fuss is about.
And so I did. While doing so I found this ad next to one of Hank's videos which I found fascinating:
Aside from I have no idea who Kim Cattrall actually is, I think this ad is amazing. I don't have the space to completely semiotically deconstruct this ad for you, but the crux of it is someone out there thinks by viewing this ad I will be motivated to put this girl's voice in my car so she can tell me where to go. Also (and trust me on this one) it suggests they think I'm doing this so I can think about her semi-naked the whole time.
Imagine her recording the soundbytes! "Turn left in 500 metres!" "Ooops! Wrong way!"
Anyway, I'm pretty sure Mum now has an email waiting for her telling her "YOU'VE ALMOST USED UP ALL YOUR INTERNET ALLOWANCE!!!" and then she will say to me "Rohan I think you are on the internet an awful lot". It is how my monthly cycle works.
It's only after I wrote that final sentence that I realised What It Really Means. With that full knowledge, I am leaving it exactly how it is.
At church they gave us a nail with communion in commemoration of the day. I really liked that, but for some reason I got all these terrible images of me walking around with my nail, tripping over and impaling my eye, which was kind of unsettling.
It didn't happen though, which was a relief.
That's a new shirt, by the way, purchased in the economy-stimulating I did last night. I'm trying to keep the dog hair off it because I want to continue wearing it for when I go to see the Dragonball movie tonight with my harem, Jay-Dee and E-Dawwg. This exercise is made more difficult by the fact that my dog is being criminally adorable and clearly wants me to pick him up, but easier by the fact that he desperately needs a bath and I do not have any doggie shampoo for him.
And being Good Friday, all the shops are closed.