Thursday, 26 February 2009
I distinctly remember thinking "I AM THE RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK!"
Oprah was up to no good. She had a large canister full of noxious liquid and she was going to use it for some nefarious end!
It's all a little blurry until Oprah took the canister and stood on top of a dais set high near the ceiling. I think she was going to spray it on a large group of people gathered below. She raised the canister high and the background music swelled dramatically - but I was too quick!
I was hiding in the roof!
I stuck my hands down through a hole in the ceiling and snatched it from her outstretched arms. Then I ran through some doors with Oprah hot on my tail. She was too quick for me and began to pinch me in the small of my back. It was very painful and annoying.
"Oprah!" I yelled, "You're so IMMATURE!"
"Just get out of my DAMN HOUSE!" she scolded me.
I ran around through the hallways until I reached a fish-and-chip restaurant she had on one of her many verandas. The patrons were shocked to see us running. One murmured how she'd never seen Oprah sweat before.
Then my mobile phone rang and I woke up.