Thursday, 26 February 2009

Oprah's House

Last night I had a dream where I was on a mission in Oprah's house. I had been sent by a mysterious group of people who were all drinking tea and having biscuits. I wanted some biscuits too, because they were Tim-Tams, but they said I had a job to do, so I went to Oprah's house with my tomb-raiding gear on.

I distinctly remember thinking "I AM THE RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK!"

Oprah was up to no good. She had a large canister full of noxious liquid and she was going to use it for some nefarious end!

It's all a little blurry until Oprah took the canister and stood on top of a dais set high near the ceiling. I think she was going to spray it on a large group of people gathered below. She raised the canister high and the background music swelled dramatically - but I was too quick!

I was hiding in the roof!

I stuck my hands down through a hole in the ceiling and snatched it from her outstretched arms. Then I ran through some doors with Oprah hot on my tail. She was too quick for me and began to pinch me in the small of my back. It was very painful and annoying.

"Oprah!" I yelled, "You're so IMMATURE!"

"Just get out of my DAMN HOUSE!" she scolded me.

I ran around through the hallways until I reached a fish-and-chip restaurant she had on one of her many verandas. The patrons were shocked to see us running. One murmured how she'd never seen Oprah sweat before.

Then my mobile phone rang and I woke up.


  1. "Oprah! You're so IMMATURE!"


  2. I never trusted Oprah. Never did.

    And this confirms my suspicions.

    I just discovered you on YouTube today. You're videos are so funny and interesting. They have just the right amount of crazy.

    And I'm glad to see your blog is just as witty.

    Keep up the fabulous work!!

  3. Hah, Oprah has been taken down!

  4. I thought Oprah looked like she lost a little weight. I guess it's from all the chasing she does.