Wednesday, 28 January 2009


Rohan needs to be aware that the magic of Bipasha works well on youngsters.

Rohan looks like shit.

Rohan says nothing, but there is sadness on his face.

Rohan wants to make money and hence wants to marry a richer girl.

Rohan does not have a limit to how many times you can do it.

Rohan hates to sit in the high chair.

Rohan asks you to casserole the browned meats in a mixture of white AlbariƱo wine and beef stock.

Rohan likes to spend time discussing films, reading and a bit of travelling. (Crazily accurate!)

Rohan eats lemons in the Winter.

Rohan wears them only at night, and now does kaka in the potty almost all the time and never in his sleep.

Rohan was arrested for the arson attack on August 23, 1969.

Rohan loves going to his Montessori school, with his friends Jacque & Matthew.

Tuesday, 27 January 2009

Letter to my Lecturer: Extra Class

Last night I checked my uni time table and discovered the uni added an extra class to one of the courses I'm doing called Ghosts and the Gothic. This is a humourous email I wrote but did not send to my lecturer. (The course outline specifically mentions Buffy the Vampire Slayer as one of the texts).

Dear David,

Upon checking my uni time table last night I discovered something that has caused me a great deal of concern: an extra 8am class has been added to my time table!

Do you know when this class was added? I distinctly recall neatly fitting my time table in to three days upon enrolment, leaving my Fridays free for activities including (but not limited to) sleeping past the 6am wake-up required for me to specially attend such a class. It also ensured I would have enough petrol to last me the whole week, rather than filling up on weekends when the price is expensive.

How necessary is it to attend this extra class? I notice it is a 'screening'. Does that mean we will be watching Buffy the whole time? Buffy is awesome, but I don't think Buffy is awesome enough to wake up at 6am for. I think Buffy would share my views on this, because even though it would take Herculean self-confidence to battle the undead, I think Buffy is the kind of girl who wouldn't be offended because I'd rather sleep in and save my money and the environment by not driving all the way to uni to specially see Buffy.

I'm sure the extra class comes as much of a shock to you as to me, and maybe you also share my views on Buffy. Perhaps we could slay the time table administration staff (for surely their lack of heart betrays they are in fact the living dead?) Would you like to schedule a coffee-date so we can plan such a scheme? I eagerly await your reply.

Disgruntledly yours,


Monday, 26 January 2009

Last Night's Conversation

Katrina: Ask Rohan about what happened with the TV guide!

Walter: What happened with the TV guide, man?

Me: One of my YouTube videos was featured and then it was in Adelaide's TV Guide YouTube section.

Walter: That's great!

Me: They basically panned the video.

Walter: Oh, sorry man that sucks. What did you do?

Me: Wrote an angry blog-post about it.

All: LOL

Church is the best ^_^

I do not support the use of literal LOL IRL. Don't do it. Ever. It means you are dead inside. The LOL indicated here is a metaphorical LOL in place of real laughter due to the restrictions of the text-based medium. Thank you.

Sunday, 25 January 2009

Adelaide TV Guide

Long-time subscriber Karina sent me a message today - I was published in Adelaide's TV Guide. Thanks Karina you're the best!


I'm really disappointed in the write-up though. "With nothing better to do"? Really? It's basically a direct quote from three-quarters of the hate comments on that video. And what's with the thumbnail they took?

Just for the record, Adelaide TV Guide, I have plenty of things I could be doing other than making videos. But I enjoy it, and I'm good at it - that's why I do it. Not because I have "nothing better to do".

And one of the items was a sex-whip. How is that not naughty?

Good grief.

Saturday, 24 January 2009

What Getting Featured Looks Like

Well the storm is finally over. My video is near the bottom of the featured videos list. Ohai obscurity, I've missed you.

Friday, 23 January 2009

Poultry Press: New Zealand Farmers and President Barack Obama

This is your courtesy blog telling you the new Poultry Press is up. If you are not in an area where it is currently Friday please do not fret; it is all an illusion and I'm sure your special friends will come and take care of you soon.

My word. There's a new bird! Again!

Wednesday, 21 January 2009

Catharsis: Phones, Politics, Obama and the Poultry Press

 should be getting ready for Poultry Press filming tomorrow. Oh yes it takes me a full day-and-a-bit to make those things. If I forced myself to do it every day I could probably get it down to a couple of hours but I'm not going to do that. I have other things I need to do.

Like wrestle with phone companies and things. Yes. The communications industry. What a great field to get involved in, Rohan. Such great thinkers reside there.

Enough. Thinking those things only makes me angry.

Poultry Press is a great distraction. There's so much I want to cover I'm not sure where to begin. I already have one part all planed out (NO IT'S A SKRIT I'LL NEVAR TELL UUUUUUU) but the rest is a great jumbly mess of oh wow this happened and let's make fun of these people and omgomgomg guess what happened this other time?!

Making fun of the phone company in question (Hint: it's 3) isn't off the cards for a SUPER BONUS VIDEO but that'll all depend on how well (read: how badly) the call to customer service goes tomorrow. My personal communication woes are not noteworthy and so won't make it in to the official Poultry Press video.

I suppose I can't have a blog post about now without mentioning the event that's run off with all the headlines today. Obama. Yay-well-okay-party's-over-now-let's-see-what-he-can-do. I'm still pretty happy, because I think he's a good guy. I'm worried about the American Congress though. It's no good to have the Senate and Congress full of one party. Look what happened when the Howard got his Liberals (read: conservatives) in the House of Reps and the Senate here.


Okay I'm going to respond to some more featured video comments now.

Obama picture via Katrina's Twitter.

Monday, 19 January 2009

Never Been Featured

Until today I had never been featured on the YouTube front page. All the subscribers and views I got were due to networking and video responses and my own creativity.

All that changed today when this happened on the Australian and New Zealand YouTube front pages:

And as a result, this happened:

That's only a small fraction of the emails I got when I woke up today.

My favourite part of the whole experience? The haters. Some of them are pretty creative. I like to congratulate them when they come up with something that tickles my fancy:

I also appreciate how this one self-censored "MOTHA FU**ER"

To be honest I'd rather get pimped out by another YouTuber, because there's a lot less drama when that happens. Like when Hayley featured one of my videos on her channel page. I think I got maybe one negative comment from that. I also got about four times the number of subscribers.

It's still a good feeling though. Someone from YouTube saw the video and decided to feature it, so I guess you could say I'm really, really happy.

Saturday, 17 January 2009

Dear Mr. Supercomputer

Usually I put music on my autoplay. I do this because I'm more interested in knowing how many people actually watch my videos rather than looking like lots of people watch my videos.

Also it means I can promote music I think is really good.

Today I changed my autoplay to this video (a song by Sufjan Stevens with a video edited together by RobinLoxley):

But I wanted to post this video (again, music by Sufjan Stevens and video by RobinLoxley):

I didn't post it because it's a bit graphic, and would probably offend a lot of people. I still want to promote it somewhere though because I think it's a really great video and makes quite a statement. Very poignant considering what's going on in Israel and Gaza right now.

Lucky you. You got to see it. I guess that's why you read the blog huh?

Friday, 16 January 2009

Vegemite Ban - Current Affairs Program(me)s

Obligatory link to my latest Poultry Press video.

That serious post is still on its way I swear =P

SPOILER: This video is notable for the debeut of the Turkey of Necissary Evil.

Wednesday, 14 January 2009


Serious post is soon, but for now look at this:

It's what happens to me every day. Ugh!

Don't worry, I never hit them. But I should.

Tuesday, 13 January 2009


This comic (from Kawaii Not) just reminded me I'm supposed to be writing a 500 word piece for Journey Magazine due tomorrow. I'm supposed to be writing about the Radical Difference conference I just went to.

Perhaps I'll post it here as well, even though it'll probably end up on the web anyway.

But first I've got to, you know, start.

Made of Win

The picture:

The comments:

I'm feeling super-pedantic that I went through and took out all but our first names. Still, it's polite for the people who didn't know they were going to be on this blog, and I have a pretty distinctive name... right?

Saturday, 10 January 2009

Cleanfeed Censorwall

My Poultry Press Cleanfeed Censorwall video:

The response has been overwhelmingly positive!

It was the most discussed News & Politics video in Australia today and the second highest rated and second most-favourited News & Politics video in Australia today. I even made it on to the Global top rated videos today (#98).

I wasn't sure my old subscribers (being used to me prancing around being silly) would take to a serious video. Turns out they love it - they found it articulate, intelligent and funny.

I've never loved my subscribers more than I do now <3!

Edit - next day: Looks like it only got more popular over night. I won't keep posting edits here because I know you don't care, but I was the number one news and politics video in Australia today for both most discussed and top rated lists. Woa! Maybe I should take up this "reporter" thing full time?

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

Every Friday, but not EVERY FRIDAY

Incessantly blogging about The Poultry Press is quickly getting old. I have other things I want to talk about too; The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing, Traitor to the Nation is one, Shane Claybourne is another, but for now you'll just have to put up with this short post saying I plan on making a Poultry Press video every Friday.

I plan on this. I know it won't happen all the time.

I plan on it happening every Friday about as often as Cute With Chris happens every Monday; which means, of course, every Friday, but not every Friday.

Make sense?

I need some kind of deadline each week to make sure I keep up and stay relevant as a current events project should. I'm pretty much set to make a video this Friday, so I'll try and keep the roll going.

Unfortunately this timetable puts me in direct competition with my heroes, the Vlogbrothers. John does a current events episode every Friday as well. Plus he has Bubbles-the-Nerdfighting-Puppy. I can't compete with Bubbles-the-Nerdfighting-Puppy, he even makes the Arab-Israeli conflict cute:

But that's how the cookie crumbles. I'd like to imagine I'm 'in partnership' with them rather than 'competing' with them, but we all know that's just because I have no hope - there's no standing up to Willy's wily charms.

Sunday, 4 January 2009

Poultry Press Insight

I just checked out the Insight feature on my first Poultry Press video. It looks like I'm on a winner with the chicken and the duck. Look:


See the bulges? That's when people go back and replay a section of video. They see the chicken and they replay the bit before so they can see it again. Strangely Black Duck is more popular than Random Chicken, even though Black Duck is meant to be the one who fails.

The Poultry Press title with sound-bite is also popular - see the small bulge at the end. I've already decided it's going to be different every time, because it's easy to record a new one each video and it's a good way to get people to watch to the end. I need to put a bit of black afterward though, because YouTube cut off the last bit of "it was the one-armed man."

Live and learn.

Saturday, 3 January 2009

YouTube Comment Mashup

I was making a title 'slide' for The Poultry Press by mashing a bunch of YouTube comments together. I've decided to change it by adding some of the comments from the first video that described the project well.

I'll have to change it again once I make my videos widescreen - but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I just want a version of the comments up somewhere where you can see all the writing without a big chicken getting in the way, so here they are:


Clicking makes them bigger!
Yes. I repeated some of the comments in both. And no. It's not a perfect photoshopping job - I did it quickly. You'll notice there's an error with the time stamps at the bottom.

I guess that needs fixing -_-

That above came off as a bit paranoid don't you reckon? Pre-empting haters isn't healthy. Mental note not to do that from now on.

Internet Fame - A Comic Reprise

Here are some web comics I found a while ago on the topic of internet fame. They are from the (relatively) well-known web comic, Diesel Sweeties.

see more hipster robot webcomics and pixel t-shirts

And I'll link to the next one - it's kind of long and would break my blog.

Speaking of my blog breaking; I need a new layout. Widescreen videos just don't fit in the allocated collumn. Does anyone know where to get blogger templates that are wider than the defalt ones?

Thank you

The Poultry Press - Ep 1

Oh yeah. Totally forgot.

Here's the first episode of The Poultry Press:

I need to put it here because I have rellies who read my blog but don't subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Leuke says I need to make it widescreen, so we'll see how we go with that next episode (which I am currently working on now).