Saturday, 26 July 2008

Internet Liar

I am a filthy, dirty liar. Don't ever trust a word I say becuase I am just lying to you.

Also you wouldn't believe the enormity of the search required to find out how to correctly spell "liar" and "lying". Why oh why does the English language have to be wonderful and/but difficult?! It's like a kitten that's really cute and clever but then JUMPS OUT OF THE CURTAINS AND SCRATCHES YOUR FACE OFF!

You're all: "bad kitten! I hate this kitten! What a... oh look he is using the litterbox!"

Then, of course, you take a photo and caption it with: DEEP BREFF! SKAWEEEEEEZE!

Why am I such a filthy, dirty liar? Well I'm not. Not normally. IRL I'm amazingly honest. If I say I'm going to do something, then you can pretty much rely on me to do it (most of the time).

But online! Oh how online! I become the lowest of the low! If I say I'll make lots of videos during the holidays, you can bet aunt Bessie's dentures that I won't make a video for a good long three weeks (I have reasons, but they are lame).

Also if I say I'm going to finish my World Youth Day posts really fast, that's a sure sign I'm going to take two days off from the internet.

I've been watching television.

I know. I'm as shocked as you are.

Not that I think you were all really hanging out to see what I did in Sydney (besides a surprising amount of absinthe... oh wait, did I say that out loud? I'm obviously lying. Obviously.) The WYD posts are more for me than they are for you. So are my videos for that matter. If I let you down, I'm letting me down. I don't like to be let down. It makes me sad.

As any good psycho-doctor will tell you, lying to yourself is the worst kind of lying; and I am obviously lying to myslef when I say these things. There is only one thing to do.

I am going to fix this.

Like, seriously. That's no lie.

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