Sunday, 6 July 2008

The Circus, and Other Freaky-Arse Things

I was talking to my friend Jacinta the other night. She was telling me a story about how her boss used to be in the circus. I got rather excited about it. More excited than other people would have been anyway.

My whole life, I'm not kidding, I have wanted to be in the circus. I don't know when the desire to be in the circus started. I don't even know what I wanted to do in the circus - I just wanted to live in a freaking tent and travel around a lot.

People assume we desire things for reasons that make sense. This is bollocks.

You know why?

I could never live in a circus, no matter how much I wanted to, because I am utterly and inexplicably afraid of clowns. They genuinely give me the willies like nothing else (except, perhaps, people in mascot suits). I mean, I don't get all nervous and sweaty if I think about a clown, but if an actual clown is standing around in my presence I get really fidgety and have to leave.

I wasn't always afraid of clowns (thus my desire to live amongst them). It was that stupid, bloody episode of 'Round the Twist where the family dress their scarecrow up in an old clown costume they found in a chest they dragged out of the ocean. The scarecrow goes all psycho and chases Linda around and around the lighthouse, bashing doors down and laughing manically.

I don't think I ever truly recovered from the nightmares that episode inspired. Back then it was freakier then Silence of the Lambs - I kid you not. It doesn't even help that it turns out the scarecrow/clown is just lonely for the girl-clown he once loved (whose clothes Linda turns out to be wearing).

Also clowns are serial killers! Why does nobody realise this?!

To be honest, the circus is like my nightmare. It's made of wonderful things mixed in with terrible freaky things. That's even worse than terrible freaky things on their own. I love the circus, and my desire to live in one has never truly left me, but only God knows why.

Writing this blog entry has freaked me the hell out. I bet you never knew I was an anxious person.

I need to go to bed, but first I'm going to fill my mind with happy things.


  1. When I was really little, for a brief moment in time.. I wanted to be a clown when I grew up. I'm not kidding. I decided that it would be a good way to go since I liked making people laugh. I'm glad I grew out of that dream profession. haha. Though I do really like the circus. (when I don't think about the poor animals who probably don't like it there.) I like the whimsical old timey tent circuses you see in the movies the best. Wow, this is a really long comment. hahaha.

  2. God, we haven't talked about this anxiety thing for so long! I had almost forgotten and was gonna come to Sydney dressed as Frank from Donnie Darko XD
    Also, I was kinda sorta maybe hoping I would've been the happy thing... but I got linked to teh Shawna so all is good =P

  3. I remember that episode, because it was the one episode that I watched and couldn't go to sleep that night. That scarecrow scared me out of my skin.

    But it didn't give me an irrational fear of clowns. In fact, I didn't even know people feared clowns in real life until today. I thought it was just Chuckie from Rugrats.

  4. aww... I didn't have a problem until I read about The Killer Clown...


  5. I HATE that episode, was the scariest thing i had ever seen at that age. that show could be pretty freaky at times, there was also the episode with the girls doll... >_>

  6. I HATE that episode, was the scariest thing i had ever seen at that age. that show could be pretty freaky at times, there was also the episode with the girls doll... >_>

    p.s. please delete the previous comment, i didn't mean to comment under that name. =S

  7. wow I'd totally forgotten about Around The Twist until now ~ maybe I repress bad memories?