Tuesday, 19 February 2008


Jumper. It got panned in the reviews but what did I think of it? Does it even matter? Do you even care? But before I get to those questions...

I have a confession to make, when I went to see this movie I forgot - clean forgot - to invite my friend Tom. Thankfully he will be glad he didn't come along.

Well it wasn't that bad. But still, it was pretty bad. I think Hollywood just needs to come to terms with the fact that Hayden Christensen is not a good actor. Sure he's good-looking, but he simply can't act. I'm not trying to be mean - perhaps he can improve - but in both this and the prequel Star Wars movies it's akin to watching a plank of wood mumble out lines from an auto-cue.

The movie isn't his fault though. Like Keanu Reeves it's possible that if you put him in the right movie his withdrawn, mumbleyness might actually work really well. But not this time. It was the script-writer's fault really. When I watch a movie I always suspend my disbelief, no matter how absurd it is. Unfortunately for Jumper, the film takes a number of turns that are inconsistent with the framework of the film itself if you know what I mean.

To improve this film I would have put a different actor in the lead role and made it about an actual jumper. It could be a romantic comedy about a guy who wears a jumper and then meets a girl, only the girl doesn't know his name. They neglect to swap phone numbers and the guy donates the jumper to St Vinnies. Later the girl sees a man wearing the same jumper getting onto a train. She follows him in and then realises she just got on a train going interstate with a guy she doesn't know. Will she fall in love with him? Will she find the first guy again? Is the jumper a magical love-making jumper?

Oh I'm sorry it appears I got distracted. If you want a bit of a laugh or you don't care if there are plot holes (like why did they drive around in Tokyo for eight hours when they needed to get saving the girl?) then I suppose you can see this movie without feeling violated. However, there is every chance that you will, so you should be careful to go when someone else is paying for you or something.


  1. What is this, "bash Keanu Reeves" week just because fucking Hayden Christensen has a movie out?

    Or did you just see everyone else bash Keanu and decided to be very original?

  2. Well, anonymous, I didn't know that everyone was in the business of bashing Keanu Reeves. This post isn't about Keanu anyway... I was actually praising him when I mentioned him. I thought he was outstanding in The Matrix and in A Scanner Darkly.

    Why? Because he was cast correctly. I think its fairly common knowledge that before The Matrix Keanu had been incorrectly cast in roles that just required someone else. In this case, Hayden Christensen has also been incorrectly cast. The role just needed someone... different.

  3. re Hayden being wood...he was on the Jay Leno Show (USA) the other nite...i was really surprised at how stiff he seemed to be during the interview..like it was his first time anyone ever asked him questions...seemed like Jay was really having a hard time getting him to open up and talk..thanks for the Jumper review..i almost went to see it.....its snowing here in New England (USA)10inches..so enjoy your warm beaches!!!